I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
