he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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