Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
