i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
