Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's get the cat blown out
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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