Already got asked if we're dating
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
