I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
