Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
