I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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