My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
