Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
only if we run a train.
done.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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