So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
