i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
