I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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