i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
