My Higher Power is John Stamos
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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