that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the condom got lost in my hair
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
