I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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