It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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