Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
