She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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