I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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