Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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