i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
