Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
