I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
