Me. At least after what I've been through.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
