Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
