i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
