I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
