So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
