I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
