Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
All I want is dick and wine.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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