It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
