KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
