So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
