Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize