Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
