**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
