Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
