...so i touched it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
did i just pee glitter
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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