he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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