how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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