I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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