I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
