Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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