This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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