i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
