the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
