were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm too high and old for this...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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