So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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