I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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